humor – Marlo Yonocruz

10 Easy Tips to Eating Healthy

Simple ways to improve your nutrition and eat better.

I always get asked for helpful tips on eating healthier from my friends and family.

Good nutrition is the cornerstone of a healthier life. You’ll have more energy, feel younger, and look better than you’ve ever before.

Here’s a compilation of my best tips for improving your eating habits.

1. For beginners, start with easy recipes

Most people make the mistake of trying to cook master-level recipes of people like chef Gordon Ramsay. Instead, follow the recipes of Chef Boyardee, and work your way up.

2. Don’t eat packaged food (chips, boxed snacks)

Remember to eat whole foods for better nutrition. Instead of a chicken breast, eat a whole chicken. Instead of a slice of watermelon, eat a whole watermelon. It’s both unhealthy and wasteful to eat a slice of cake. Have the whole cake and eat it too.

3. Stay away from microwaveable, frozen foods

If you want to eat healthier, don’t eat microwaved lean cuisines. Eating like a caveman is more natural and healthier for your body. Since microwaves didn’t exist back then, cook your lean cuisines over an open fire outside.

4. Avoid artificial ingredients

They say you are what you eat. If you eat fake foods, you’ll be fake. Nobody likes fake people. Don’t eat fake foods.

5. Eat healthy oils and fats to feel full for longer

If you’re constantly feeling hungry throughout the day, you’re probably not eating enough fats. During big meals, bodybuilders will sip on a tall glass of olive oil to stay full for 7-8 hours. For a dessert-type option, add a scoop of chocolate whey protein to make the drink taste like a chocolate covered olive.

6. Have a healthy snack ready (almonds, carrots)

Be sure to have healthy snacks ready when you feel hungry in between meals. Go to your favorite fast food place and sit down next to someone who just got his food. Guilt trip him into not taking his health seriously, and persuade him into trading his meal for your healthy snacks. This will not only improve your sales skills, but you will have done a good deed helping someone else make a smart decision.

7. Meal prep to control what you eat

Preparing your meals in advance is one of the best pro-tips. A standard large, 2-topping pizza will come with 8 slices. Buy 2 pizzas to get 16 slices, which is enough for 3 meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) for 5 workdays. You’ll have 1 slice leftover for Friday night dessert. Treat yourself. You deserve it for sticking to your meal prep.

8. Use portion control

When you sit down to eat your food, divide the food on your plate in half. Divide those halves into halves. You should have 4 equal portions of your food. Eat each portion one at a time. Instead of eating a whole plate of food, you’ve only eaten 4 – 1/4ths of a meal, which sounds like way less.

9. Try intermittent fasting

It’s easier to not eat 500 calories than to work off 500 calories. Instead of heading to the gym, it’s more efficient to just not eat. Start small by skipping a meal or two a week. Slowly progress to missing a meal a day, then a couple a day. Sooner or later, you’ll not have to eat at all and can survive on air and willpower. This will also save you a ton of money on gym memberships.

10. Have an accountability partner for healthy eating

Illicit a friend to join you on your healthy eating journey. Keep each other accountable by sending photos of your meals. When the other person eats something they’re not supposed to, shame them on social media by posting their food photos on their wall and calling them a fatty. It might strain your relationship, but they’ll thank you for the tough love.

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10 Best Tips to Ace Your Interview

The best interview tips to land your dream job

1. Get to know your interviewer

Getting into the mind of your interviewer before the meeting will give you a huge advantage. Find out where they live, their routes to work, what stores they shop at, where their kids go to school, etc. These are good talking points during your interview and will distinguish you from the rest of the applicants.

2. Dress up

Since first impressions are critical, the best strategy is to dress like current employees of the company. Wear the exact same outfit as the person interviewing you to show them you have the right look for the job. Imitation is the highest form of flattery after all.

3. Arrive early

See 9 Easy Hacks to Get to Work on Time for great tips on being punctual to the meeting.

4. Firm handshake

The stronger your grip, the more confident you will appear. Start by doing 30 reps x 5 sets of dumbbell wrists curls with your max weight at the gym, twice a day for 3 months. Your massive forearms will not only impress your interviewer, but leave an imprint on their hands they’ll never forget.

5. Smile and maintain eye contact

Studies show the following type of smile is the most effective in an interview:

Open your mouth until there are about 1.5-2 inches between your top and bottom teeth
Contract your facial cheek muscles so that it exposes your upper teeth
Tilt your head down 30 degrees below horizontal
Stare directly at the person

Use this smile throughout the interview to increase your likability and build rapport with the other person.

6. Stay relaxed

Your mindset should be to walk in like you own the place. Park in the boss’s reserved spot and put your feet up on the desk. Ask Jennifer when your 2’o-clock meeting is, follow up with Robert on the report he promised you yesterday. Freak out when you forgot to pick up the cupcakes for Gloria’s birthday, but realize you can send out the intern to get it. Also, don’t forget you have a tax payment due to the IRS by the end of the week.

7. Ask questions

Children are masterful question askers, hence why they always get what they want. When you ask a question, always follow up the question with “Why?” You’ll eventually come to a point where the interviewer cannot answer. This will simultaneously impress them and give you a boost of confidence knowing you’ve outsmarted them.

8. Ask for feedback

Most people avoid feedback because they take it personally rather than as an opportunity to grow. Show your interviewer you care by giving her constructive criticism. Remember the feedback sandwich technique: sandwich the critique between two compliments. Make her feel good about herself by telling her she did great and the next will be even better.

9. Thank the interviewer

Displaying gratitude is important to an employer. The best way to display your gratitude is to work for free. People undervalue work experience and overvalue a real paycheck. Paying off student loans aren’t as important as doing fulfilling work at an unpaid internship.

10. Follow up!

Follow up is essential to keeping your application at the top of their mind. Traditional methods of emails and handwritten cards won’t get through to busy hiring managers. Instead, send your follow-ups via carrier pigeons, computer malware, and singing telegrams with grown men in clown outfits every night to their homes. Creativity and persistence is the key to landing your dream job.

9 Easy Hacks to Get to Work on Time

9 easy hacks to help you get to work on time

Getting to work on time can be a struggle. It can be very difficult when you have to wake up early, avoid morning distractions, and fight traffic on the way to work.

If you’re someone who has trouble with punctuality, here are some tips that can really help.

1. Have your clothes prepped.

Sleep with your entire work outfit on- clothes, shoes, heels, makeup, hair, the whole nine yards. Doing this the night before will save you a ton of time in the morning.

2. Meal prep breakfast the night before.

Jack in the Box serves breakfast all day. Stop by on your way home, buy a breakfast meal, and eat it before you sleep. Since it takes longer for your body to process fake food, your meal should still be in your system by the time you wake up. This could easily save you 30 – 40 minutes in your morning routine.

3. Research the fastest route to work.

The shortest route between two points is a straight line. You’ll find driving through homes, crowded parking lots, and across intersections to be much faster than following the normal traffic routes.

4. Leave early.

Rule of thumb is to leave 6 hours before your shift starts. For example, an 8AM shift means you should leave by 2AM. For best results, sleep at work. This will guarantee you’ll be on time, help you avoid traffic, and save you money on gas.

5. Turn back the clocks in your house to trick yourself into leaving sooner.

The best way to do this is to set your clocks to another time zone. If you live in California, for example, change your clock to match Japan’s time zone. Doing so will shift your time 16 hours ahead, which will ensure you’ll arrive before your boss.

6. Fill up your gas tank the day before.

Consider also washing the outside of your car, vacuuming the inside, or simply a full detail job. While you’re at it, clean your house, mow the lawn, do your taxes early, watch paint dry, etc. Take care of anything that might distract you or make you late in the morning.

7. Get enough sleep.

This is probably the most overlooked by people, but the most critical. If you’re dozing off at work, your body is telling you to take a nap at your desk. Inadequate sleep will make you tired by the time you get home. This will increase your chances of accidentally sleeping in and being late to work the next day.

8. Set multiple alarms.

Set up an alarm clock at work to go off right when your shift starts. Turn up the volume and disable the snooze. If you don’t show up to work on time to turn it off, all of your coworkers will hate you by the time you come in. The trauma caused by being ostracized by your peers will discourage you from ever showing up late again.

9. Switch to a company that has your preferred work hours.

If a 9 – 5 work schedule is tough to manage, consider the unemployment route. The hours are pretty flexible, unlimited non-PTO, you can work remotely, and there’s no boss to yell at you when you’re late.

Book notes: Born a Crime

Born a Crime Trevor Noah book summary by Marlo Yonocruz

Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood by Trevor Noah

Synopsis: Trevor Noah, one of the comedy world’s fastest-rising stars and host of The Daily Show, tells his wild coming-of-age story during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa and the tumultuous days of freedom that followed. In this Audible Studios production, Noah provides something deeper than traditional memoirists: powerfully funny observations about how farcical political and social systems play out in our lives.

The stories Noah tells are by turns hilarious, bizarre, tender, dark, and poignant – subsisting on caterpillars during months of extreme poverty, making comically pitiful attempts at teenage romance in a color-obsessed world, thrown into jail as the hapless fall guy for a crime he didn’t commit, thrown by his mother from a speeding car driven by murderous gangsters, and more.” -Amazon

Opening Thoughts:

All I know about Trevor Noah was that he took over as host for The Daily Show on Comedy Central after John Stewart left, that he’s hilarious, and he’s South African. Other than that, I knew nothing about Trevor. I saw the ratings and reviews and was instantly sold. I’ve been looking for a good autobiography to pick up, but thought this would be a separation from the typical books I read about business moguls, high performers, and wealthy people. The last book I read about a comedian was Steve Martin’s book, which was a good time as well.

Continue reading “Book notes: Born a Crime”