Book notes: Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop

Unfu*k Yourself by Robert Greene book summary review.

Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life by Gary John Bishop

Synopsis:

Are you tired of feeling f*cked up? If you are, Gary John Bishop has the answer. In this straightforward handbook, he gives you the tools and advice you need to demolish the slag weighing you down and become the truly unf*cked version of yourself. “Wake up to the miracle you are,” he directs. “Here’s what you’ve forgotten: You’re a f*cking miracle of being.” It isn’t other people that are standing in your way; it isn’t even your circumstances that are blocking your ability to thrive. It’s yourself and the negative self-talk you keep telling yourself.

Opening thoughts:

This was another book I picked up because of Audible’s recommendations. I checked it out and it had a good average review. I felt like I needed a short book with some quick bursts of motivation and inspiration for the month, so hopefully, this will do the trick.

 

Key notes:

Reader’s note: Holy crap, I love that the narrator has an Irish accent, or whatever it is. Is being read by the author?

  • Most of the conversations you have on any given day are with yourself
  • We have a massive say in which of those thoughts we attach significance to
    • The kind of talk you engage in has a profound impact on the quality of your life

“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears” -Marcus Aurelius

  • People spend their lives waiting for the cavalry all the while never realizing they are the cavalry
  • Our thoughts can actually change the physical structure of our brain
    • This phenomenon is called neural plasticity
  • No matter how difficult, challenging, or pressing life circumstances can be, how you fundamentally relate to and engage with those circumstances will have the biggest say in how they turn out
    • The answer is inside you rather than outside you
  • There is no greater knowledge than the knowledge you have verified for yourself in your own experience

Reader’s note: It seems like the author says this book is all about helping the reader understand the power and complexity of self-talk. Based on this first hour or so, it seems like that’s the main idea.

  • You have the life you are willing to put up with

Circumstances don’t make the man, they only reveal him to himself” -Apectetus

  • You are 100% responsible for what you do with your life and the aftermath of those events
    • Always. Every time. No excuses.
  • Once you find the obstacles in your life as a matter of willing and unwilling instead of weighing yourself down with negative opinions of yourself and your circumstance, you can break through the self-imposed barriers that are truly holding you back
  • Ask yourselfam I willing?” until you get a resounding “yes

Chapter 3: I am wired to win

  • Our thoughts are so powerful that they’re constantly pushing you towards their goals even when you don’t realize what those goals actually are
    • Your brain is wired to win
  • 95% of what we do in our day to day life is controlled by our subconscious
    • Only a tiny fraction of the things we say or do are out of a sense of volition
    • For the most part, you’re on autopilot
  • We hold a certain belief about ourselves or life that we prove right time and time again through our everyday actions
    • Those beliefs uncannily turn out to be deadly accurate and are reality

Chapter 4: I got this

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light” -Aristotle

  • Take a moment to put all of your past and present problems into perspective
  • You shouldn’t let what happens in one area of your life affect your outlook on the whole

Chapter 5: I embrace uncertainty

  • We know that taking risks leads to better rewards, but we are so used to looking for certainty
    • Until recently, the world was a much more dangerous place for humans
    • While it’s not a utopia, it is much safer than before
  • Uncertainty is where things happen
    • It is your personal pathway to opportunity
    • It is the environment in which you grow, experience new things, and produce new, unprecedented results
    • Uncertainty is where new happens

The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise” -Tacitus

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The next best thing you can do is the wrong thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing” -Theodore Roosevelt

  • Achieving your goals and perceived certainty can blunt or mellow your ambitions and desires
  • Certainty is a complete illusion
  • When we think we know everything, we inadvertently turn ourselves away from the unknown, and by default, whole new realms of success
    • The person who accepts how unpredictable and uncertain life is has no choice but to embrace it
    • They’re not afraid of the uncertain, it’s just a part of life
  • Part of our aversion to uncertainty comes from being judged by others
    • We are afraid of what the tribe thinks

Chapter 6: I am not my thoughts, I am what I do

We become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions” -Aristotle

  • You change your life by doing, not thinking about doing
    • Doing is the quickest way to change your thoughts
  • Don’t act on your thoughts. Act on what’s in front of you
    • Change your life by changing your actions

Action may not bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action” -Benjamin Disraeli

Chapter 7: I am relentless

  • The more unique and out of the box your endeavor, the stronger the pushback can be
    • Mostly because the other people in life have gotten used to relating to you as a specific kind of person
    • Anytime you attempt to break out of that mold, you’re not only messing with your own world, you are also messing with theirs
    • This resistance also comes from your own mind too
  • True relentlessness comes when the only thing you have left is relentlessness
    • When it seems like all seems lost, relentlessness is the fuel that drives you through

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it” -Aristotle

Chapter 8: Expect nothing and accept everything

  • The upsets strewn throughout your entire life are a product of thousands of unspoken, unrecognized expectations that cast a giant shadow across your life experience, causing great stress when you’re trying to make fit with your expectations and great disappointment when life doesn’t match up to them
    • They actually get in the way of a real life and real issues that require attention
  • When you expect nothing, you’re living in the moment
    • You are not worrying about the future or rejecting the past. You’re simply embracing your situation as it comes
    • When you accept everything, it doesn’t mean you’re OK with it or agree with it
      • It simply means that you are owning it and in charge of it
      • You can always change something when you take ownership and responsibility for it
  • Don’t expect victory or defeat. Plan for victory, learn from defeat
    • The expectation of people loving you or respecting you is a pointless exercise too
    • Be free to love them the way they are, and be loved the way that they love you
    • Free yourself from the burden and melodrama of expectation
      • Love the life you have, not the one you expected to have

Chapter 9: where next?

  • 7 personal Assertions:
    1. I am willing
    2. I am wired to win
    3. I got this
    4. I embrace the uncertainty
    5. I am not my thoughts, I am what I do
    6. I am relentless
    7. I expect nothing and accept everything
  • In order to improve your internal world, you have to start by taking action in the external world get out of your mind and get out into your life
    • Future you is not going to regret a lack of achievement or the absence of any one thing in your life
    • The only thing you’ll regret is not trying, not striving, not pushing through when the going got tough
  • Successful people don’t wait
    • Don’t wait for the right moment or for inspiration to strike
    • They get up and they do and they try and they fail
    • Even before they feel ready, they are flying the airplane while they’re building it
  • Stop blaming your past
    • Why is it you show more passion for your past then you do for your future?
    • No one can free you but you
  • We can forget our past by creating a future, building something bigger than you’ve ever done
    • When what’s in front of you is so bright and so satisfying, you won’t have time to look behind you
    • Your eyes and mind will be focused straight ahead
  • You may not like everything from your past, but it’s helped shape who you are today, good and bad
    • There’s plenty good about you and that good is enough to get you what you want

 

Themes/Main ideas:

  1. People spend their lives waiting for the cavalry all the while never realizing they are the cavalry
  2. You have the life you are willing to put up with
  3. Your brain is wired to win
  4. You shouldn’t let what happens in one area of your life affect your outlook on the whole
  5. Uncertainty is where things happen
  6. Certainty is a complete illusion
  7. Doing is the quickest way to change your thoughts
  8. You can always change something when you take ownership and responsibility for it
  9. Don’t expect victory or defeat. Plan for victory, learn from defeat
  10. Love the life you have, not the one you expected to have
  11. Successful people don’t wait
  12. Stop blaming your past
  13. 7 Personal Assertions:
    1. I am willing
    2. I am wired to win
    3. I got this
    4. I embrace the uncertainty
    5. I am not my thoughts, I am what I do
    6. I am relentless
    7. I expect nothing and accept everything

 

Closing thoughts:

This was such a concise and powerful read. Lots of good key ideas, inspiring quotes, and applicable principles. I like it this is pretty relevant to almost anyone and get straight to the point. Not a lot of fluff.

This book is good for anyone who needs to take a step back and shift their perspective. It is true that we have so much more power in our lives than we think. I believe that a shift in our perspective can help us take that small action step towards changing our life. Those actions compounded over time will change our thoughts and beliefs, which will ultimately change our lives.

Overall, highly recommend because:

  1. It’s a fast read, very concise
  2. Naturally very motivating and inspirational
  3. Actionable steps for anybody

 

Nutshell:

You are the key to “unf*cking yourself”. Take ownership of your life, let go of expectations, embrace uncertainty, stop blaming your past, and take action to change your life.

Rating:

4/5

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