Today, express your opinion on a topic or a piece of work. This is your opportunity to comment on something you’re passionate about, or review a piece of art or entertainment that you love or despise.
So I saw this particular video show up on my Facebook newsfeed a few months back and it reignited some strong opinions I’ve had for a long time regarding this topic.
In a nutshell: “who should pay on a date, the guy or the girl?”
I don’t know who this guy is, but I completely agree with his reasonings. Here’s some of his main points and why I agree:
- If the guy should always pay, but the girl isn’t held to anything on her end, this sets up a dangerous double standard.
This type of unequal relationship doesn’t lay a good foundation for the relationship. In the past, it was normal for a woman to be the home caretaker and the man to be the financial provider. This uneven relationship that might have made sense back then, but it put the man in a more dominant position.
Today, women fight to be perceived and treated as equals to their male counterparts. Unfortunately, I think the push to keep the “chivalry” of the old days maintains the status quo and the old paradigms about men and women.
- If a guy should pay for a girls time, it sets up the relationship as unfair for the guy
Again, this reinforces the idea that the two parties aren’t equal.
- If she doesn’t offer to pay her share, she wasn’t taught right. If he doesn’t offer to pay his share, he wasn’t taught right.
Manners. It’s not because you’re a man or because you’re a woman. It should be because you’re a generous and thoughtful person. What does it say about the person who unfairly takes advantage of the other person’s generosity?
- If I were dating a girl and she never offered to pay, I wouldn’t date her. You should treat your partner like your best friend.
100% yes. Let’s remove male and female “standards” and cultural normals (which greatly vary across different cultures and across different time periods) and just treat the person we want to be with like our best friend. If you treat your partner as someone to be used, what kind of long term relationship are you really cultivating?
- What matters most is trying. If your partner doesn’t feel like you’re trying to contribute to the relationship, that’s when he’ll feel used.
This is basically true in any relationship. Although we shouldn’t approach any relationship as only giving so you can get, it is important to evaluate if they value you as much as you value them.
If chivalry is dead, good. I’m glad it is.
I was raised to believe that although boys and girls are different, one isn’t superior than the other. By that sense, they are equal. I fully support being kind and courteous to others because you have class, regardless if you’re a boy or girl.
By those standards, I could never support the double standard of chivalry.
Thank you for reading! If you have any thoughts you would like to add, I would love to hear. I read and respond to every comment 🙂
Marlo Yonocruz 